Veins bulge in my head, pressure sensing trauma seeking
Unable to face failure, what did I give up to be here?
Please dear, be grateful
smile.
But mom….I am too tired
I look in an old dusty luggage bag to recover what is lost.
Underneath all the unpacked clothes and soon “to be’s”, I find what it was to be me.
A card, orange and bright shines through the bottom.
I pick it up and remember it wasn’t that long ago that my patient told me he is far from rock bottom
But here I am thinking I am at the bottom.
I open the card and read. He wrote to me :
You are a spark of goodness that brightens the world.
It wasn’t long ago I made the choice to feel the veins in my brain pulsate with pain and struggle to understand and face
the me with no answers.
Finally, my prayers were answered
And because I choose to struggle and be someone else other than the one who “made it in the city”
I know I will have the opportunity to hear from the ones I treat that I brighten their world.
A blessing is to see the glow of another.
The countless hours alike to that of a Mural.
a reflection of countless muscle reflex of a painter’s hand, thoughts, intentions, and streams of consciousness
to make their world come to their fruition
molding the canvas, aching fingers, to create beautiful meaning
That’s why you are here.
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